What Can I Do if My Partner Is Pregnant, but I Don’t Want to Be a Parent?

Hearing the words, “I’m pregnant,” from your partner can feel overwhelming, especially when the pregnancy was not part of your plans. You might be thinking:

How will this change my life?

What if I’m not ready to be a dad?

What if I simply don’t want to parent at all? 

These thoughts are common, and you are not alone. At Positive Options, our team offers free and confidential support for both men and women facing an unexpected pregnancy. We understand the mix of emotions you may be feeling and provide a safe place to talk through them. 

Schedule a free appointment today to begin sorting through your next steps with someone who will listen.

Give Yourself Time to Process

An unexpected pregnancy can stir fear, confusion, and even a desire to pull away. It’s okay to acknowledge those feelings. Before making decisions or reacting impulsively, give yourself time to process what you’ve learned.

Consider confiding in a trusted friend, counselor, or mentor who can help you think clearly. Rather than avoiding the situation, taking a pause now can prevent regret later.

Your response during these early conversations can shape your relationship with your partner and your child’s future, even if you ultimately decide not to parent.

Talking Through the Options

Your partner will be weighing three primary options: parenting, adoption, and abortion. While the final decision is hers, your presence and support matter. Listening, asking thoughtful questions, and remaining respectful can help you make informed choices.

If adoption is chosen, both parents relinquish legal rights, and the level of ongoing contact—open, semi-open, or closed—varies depending on the plan. This path may bring peace of mind if you feel unprepared to parent while still allowing your child a secure future.

If your partner chooses parenting, you can explore the level of involvement you feel ready for, whether co-parenting, shared custody, or offering emotional and financial support. It’s normal for your feelings to evolve as you learn about available resources and talk openly with your partner.

Understanding Your Legal Responsibilities in MI

Michigan law recognizes the rights and obligations of biological fathers once paternity is legally established. Here’s what you need to know:

• Automatic Custody for the Mother: If you and the mother are unmarried, she has sole legal and physical custody at birth.

• Establishing Paternity: You can establish paternity by signing an Affidavit of Parentage (usually at the hospital or later through the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services) or through a court order and DNA testing.

• Child Support: Once paternity is established, you can request custody or parenting time through the courts, but you will also be responsible for child support until the child turns 18 (or 19.5 if still in high school).

• Parental Rights: If you pursue custody or parenting time, establishing paternity allows you to be involved in important decisions about your child’s education, healthcare, and upbringing.

  
  

Even if you feel unprepared to be a father, understanding these responsibilities early can help you make thoughtful choices and avoid unexpected legal or financial obligations.

Support Designed for Men

Positive Options provides resources specifically for men navigating an unexpected pregnancy. Whether you need mentoring with a male advocate, help understanding your rights, or simply someone to talk to, we are here to help. We can also connect you to additional community resources for counseling, legal information, and fatherhood programs.

You may not feel ready to be a father, and that’s okay to admit. However, you don’t have to handle this alone. Positive Options offers free and confidential support to explore your feelings, understand your options, and decide how you want to be involved.

Schedule your free, confidential appointment today to discover the resources available.